My Story

I'm asked all the time about the philosophies behind my work. Usually people try to understand it from the context of what they already know—traditional therapy, coaching, self-help programs, New Age spiritual movements—and none fit. How I work with people and what I teach them is hard to boil down to a few terms but perhaps the best explanation is through the telling of my story.

I grew up in a middle-class, Midwestern town in Iowa. Our neighborhood was rapidly developing with new construction, and the house frames were my monkey bars at the tender age of six. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, we would throw dirt clods at cars after my brothers and I had climbed out of our second story bedroom window. Or the all-time favorite game was Black Out—a game that makes the movie, "Home Alone" look tame.

In grade school, I was constantly in trouble and frequently in the principal's office. I acted out as the class clown and almost single-handedly gave one teacher a nervous breakdown. After school, when most children were psyched for snack and play, I sometimes waited an hour or more to be picked up (this time they promised to remember). Finally resigned, I'd walk home, often entering unnoticed. In the evening instead of doing homework, my brothers and I played in the bar parking lots until late. Hmm, explains why homework was never completed. Teachers labeled me as an irresponsible troublemaker early on. Throughout my school years, yelling was my daily wake-up; fighting was my bedtime story; and blaming, threatening, and cursing my everything-in-between. To escape, I would hide in the basement cabinets under the stairs, secretly hoping that someone would come after me. They never did. You see, I was invisible—eclipsed by alcoholism and the disease of regret and shame. This hiding place became my inner sanctuary where I found peace. Continue My Story...

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